Yes, “ain’t” is a word in the dictionary. Today is Valentine’s Day. A day to celebrate love, proclaim love from the deepest parts of your soul to your special someone (or someone’s if you are are in a plural Marriage like the show that was on TLC, “First Wives”). It sure takes a lot of self-esteem not to get jealous of your husband showing love to your other sister wives, I could never do it, but I admire people who share a common foundation that works for them. As long as it is in agreement between all parties, and it doesn’t hurt anyone, why not? I watched the series on NetFlix and was taken with the deep love and respect they have for each other and their kids. And guess what, you have other people to help with the housework and child raising, and if you are not in the mood, you can ask your sister wife to “take the bullet for you”, so to speak.
But I digress. I am so grateful for the love that my husband, David and I share. We say “I love you” everday. We do special things for each other, make coffee for each other or fix meals for each other, take over the household chores if one is swamped with work. Because we are both artists besides the work we do for the company we work at, Divineware, David is the webmaster at the Humane Society of the North Bay, that is an ongoing project. He gets to do his cartoon art on the website. He is in the midst of promoting their annual fundraiser, Barkitecture, that is another full time job.
I have my art work. I am producing my “Let Their Voice Be Heard” concert fundraising project to go to places in the country promoting the
message of peace, respect, love and dignity between animals and humans (as well as other beings on the planet). I am writing more songs. I started working with a guide,a well-known singer/songwriter who passed on, that is helping me fine tunng my piano playing skills.
I just agreed to serve on the Board of Trustees for the church I belong to the Vallejo Center for Spiritual Living. I am also the Chair of the Public Relations committee (I am still in the process of bringing in the committee). So between all our activites. We are constantly taking care of a project. And then besides our work we also have 5 active four-legged kids. So constant cleaning to the cages, litter boxes (our rabbits have their own litter boxes). We don’t free feed our cats or rabbits, and our bunnies get fresh organic veggies from the garden or the store.
But that is some of the things that keeps our 11 year marriage growing strong. I was talking to a lady from our church recently, Linda Moore-Watts and asked her what makes her 24 year marriage work? One of the first things Linda said was “patience” the second thing she said is “listening”. She also mentioned that it is important to have your own interestes besides things you do together.
When I have posed this question to people, who I can tell still have that spark for each other, I hear similar responses. One of my favorite phrases is “don’t take anything personally“. The times that David and I argue, we may say some pretty intense things, out of anger, but I know that in spite of these verbal barbs thrown at me, he loves me. He has since were sophomores in high school and this fact, reminds me when I want to storm out of the house and say “That’s it!”
I want to leave you with a valentine email we got from our boss:
“Its a special day to us because it was vday 11 years ago that I proposed the idea of starting the company to Virginia so that I could spend each and every day with her.”
What a wonderful declaration of love. And one of the big tests they have passed of how well they not only love each other, but like being with each other is that they leave their home in the Sabastopol area and travel in their RV and stay in San Diego with their two cats. Now that is togetherness!