Tag Archive | Forgiveness

Spreading Joyful Words with James Van Praag

He is such a down to earth person. After his 2 1/2 hour event, he came out to talk to us and sign autographs.

He is such a down to earth person. After his 2 1/2 hour event, he came out to talk to us and sign autographs.

I am in the beginning stages of starting a new website titled “joyful-Words.com” but I have yet to give the login info to my new assistant. So I will be making more references to my new website as time goes on. I start off with a true story. A story about love that transcends all space and time-our human space and time and spirit time and space. My husband, David, and myself had the opportunity and gift of seeing James in person in Modesto California. That was a miracle in itself, because Modesto did not seem to be open to hearing topics about spirit communication-in fact the lady who opened the event, said that she got some static from some people, however the power of Faith and love was so strong-it happened. It is perfect timing for James to come share his experiences not only about our loved ones on the other side but the teachings that our allies and guides want  us to know. When it was time to start the lady who opened the program said that James would start off with a song to raise the energy and invite our loved ones in. I don’t think I was the only one who expected it to be a quiet, introspective song, but instead the music was this very riveting, energetic song that had a disco beat. It got us all cheering and clapping, then we see him running on the stage dancing with the music and invited us to stand and move with the music too. It was so much fun. It became a spirit party. James did mention that spirits are attracted to light hearted energy. I bet the collected energy of 2,000 people went out like a lighthouse beacon. He said that besides getting messages from our loved ones he wanted to share teachings about how spirit works with us and what we can do so we have a fulfilling life while we are here on the planet. First thing he wanted to share is that “there is no death”. We just go into a different form of energy. Right before we leave our bodies, there is a shut off valve, so we feel no pain. He shared a new twist on the word ego. He said “Ego stands for Edging God Out”. That makes so much sense. When our ego is running the show, the energy is dense and blocks the higher vibrations of our spiritual guidance. He also shared that we are spirits living in a human body. As he is explaining spirit communication 101, I felt an energy on my shoulders. It was a warm energy. Very familiar, I recognized the energy as my mom! She stayed with me until he started give readings to others. The readings he gave to other people were such a blessing for people in the audience who had been having feelings of distress from their loved ones passing. One lady, who’s husband passed from an airplane crash got a message that said he is doing great and his gift to her was admitting that spirit communication does exist and it is not “B— S—” as he used to call it. He has been trying to help her connect with a new love. I would say that was two gifts he was giving her. In the middle of the show, he led an exercise that helped us connect with a loved one. Part of the exercise was to imagine a green orb of light coming near us and then seeing one of our loved ones stepping out. My mother, Nellie, Father Ralph, and my brother Michael came to me. My parents said they were proud of me for doing my inner work and releasing the sadness that I felt over my childhood. I hugged both of them and said that I forgave them for what happened in my childhood because I now understand what happened and I know they did the best they could. I was happy to see my brother with them because there was a lot of guilt surrounding his death. When my mother was pregnant with Michael, my Father’s mother said she was putting a curse on my brother and that he would die young. Michael got Leukemia when he was 10 years old and died. I can imagine the guilt and anger my parents felt. They had no one to talk them through their grief. And we were not allowed to grieve either. My parents shut down and our childhood ended. So to talk with my parents and let them know that I love them and forgive them was very healing for all of us. That was a wonderful gift for me. I was able to share that with my brother, Gabriel, that was the name my brother Michael told my mom to give him. Another teaching-you can heal a relationship whether your loved ones are in a physical body or in spirit. That teaching gives me so much comfort. I hope this comforts you also.


Everyday Miracles

This has been quite a year for my family. Many lessons and many happy surprises. My husband David had a health scare a few months ago, now he is doing much better. Both of us are eating better and he has dropped 40 lbs. I am feeling more freedom emotionally, spiritually, creatively, physically and financially. I am learning a new instrument that I also feel is going to help me in my healing work. Since I have been incorporating my virtual meditation-healing circle I am seeing results with my family and friends. There is a richness in my life that continues to grow.

One of my prayers has been for my brothers and sister and myself to become re-connected. We grew up in a household where we became fragmented. For many years, very little communication took place. Recently, our father passed away and this was the catalyst to re-connect. My older sister and myself went to our family home to visit with our younger brother who was the care taker for our father. We went out to dinner and started getting reacquainted. For some of you out there who have always have close family relationships, this may seem foreign to you. To think that you could go almost 20 years without any communication. We all had to do some inner work so we could come together in an open and humble space. To end any ego thoughts of the blame game and alchemically change to a level of gentleness and compassion. That is a miracle.

Our youngest brother had moved to another state and because of things going in his life, I had no idea how to get in touch with him. My Brother Gabe, who has been clean and sober for 9 years and had stayed in touch with our youngest brother gave me his number and said to call him. So I did call and left messages for about a year off and on. I believe he was still sorting out some things in his life that were painful, he needed to reconcile with.

I continued to send healing blessings to our family. I knew that healing is always taking place and may not be seen in a way I perceive it, yet I know it is still working. Two weeks ago, I called my youngest brother, Christopher. He wasn’t home, but I left a message. The next day he called, but I was in the shower. He left a message on my voicemail and hearing his voice after so many years was a gift in itself.

We finally did talk. Chris has gone through a lot and he has done a lot of inner work and he taken responsibility of his life. It is so courageous to look at the stuff that happened in his life and make positive changes. he is going to school. He wants to be a teacher. He is a very talented writer and he is also studying the Piano.

My Sister also was having challenges with family stuff and I hadn’t spoken to her for almost two years. Then 2 months ago, I needed help putting my bike together and asked our brother in law if he could come over. He hadn’t mentioned if my sister was coming with him. I didn’t question him, in case it was a sensitive subject. When I heard his car drive up, we heard a knock on the door and it was my sister standing there! What a wonderful surprise.

We had a nice time catching up. Now we are talking on a regular basis. Elaine is planning a tamale making party on Christmas Eve and making some tasty snacks to knosh on while we are making tamales. So Gabe, Elaine, her husband Greg, David and our canine nephew, Tucker will be spending the holidays together. Chris unfortunately will not be able to come down, but in the spring my husband and I are planning to take a trip where he lives. This is a miracle. I found out later talking to both my brothers, that we had all been praying to reconnect and it is happening. It is all in the timing. And God is always on time.

We have choice what ever our circumstances

I was cleaning and re-organizing my book cases and I happened to find a book that was given to me a few years back. “You have to read this book, it will open your eyes.” The woman who gave me the book exclaimed. I looked at the cover. The name, “Shantaram“, written by Gregory David Roberts, had an almost magical ring to it. Though I haven’t read it yet, when I read the first paragraph, these words got my attention:

“It took me a long time to learn what I know about love and fate and the choices we make, but the heart of it came to me in an instant, while I was chained to a wall and being tortured. I realised, somehow, through the screaming in my mind, that even in that shackled, bloody helplessness, I was still free: free to hate the men who were torturing me or free to forgive them. ….and the choice you make, between hating and forgiving, can become the story of your life.”

What I was drawn to was the thought that what ever happens in our lives we do have the choice to stay or flee, to keep that trapped anger in the body, creating in-balances to the point where we will start to physically feel distress or pain. We can also choose to look at our perceived offenders and learn to “for-give” the act so we can be released from the emotional prison that keeps us from embracing the joy, the pleasure and magic that is our life. We have all had painful experiences. The first love that leaves our heart shattered and slivered in so many segments we don’t know how to make it whole again. Maybe you came from a dysfunctional family and the parents who were supposed to be your protectors, were actually the people you needed protection from. Maybe you had a friend that made a mistake that for you was a deal breaker in your friendship.

How can this happen? Can life really be this cruel?

Here comes the choice part again. We can choose to look beyond the pain to see the gift. Everything that has happened in my life has asked these questions “are the circumstances or harsh words the truth of who you are?” What did you learn from this interaction with this person? If someone says to you “you are the dummest person on the planet, is that your truth? what do you really feel in your heart to be your truth?” “What part did you play?” Because I have lived the philosophy of the Science of Mind, I know that what my deepest thoughts about my life, my work, my wholeness, and my joy will manifest in my life. If I want to know what my truth is about any of these things, I just have to see what shows up.  If  I am having experiences that I don’t like, I can do a check in with myself and see what I am thinking or feeling.

Our thoughts turn to feelings, our feelings turn to emotions and our emotions turn into vibrations that the universe responds to and aligns us with these thought/vibration and before I know it is like “Murphy’s Law” with the worse case of PMS.  It is not a pretty sight! What can I do when this happens, how do I get off the roller coaster that never stops (I hate the hair pin turns or the deep drops)? I take a few deep breaths and then use a techniques I learned from Michael J Lossier, ask myself “What do I want?” As soon as I do that , the charge starts to dissipate and I can start putting my focus on neutral things or putting on music that is emotionally charged for me to change my emotions. I am on a different track, so to speak.

For minor inconveniences, this is perfect. But what if I need to let go of the intense anger when I feel someone has treated me unfairly or, a word that was used in the TV program Ally Mc Beal, disparaged me? That can take longer, especially if the wound is still fresh. I acknowledge what I am feeling and sit with it. If I tried to block it or bury it, the energy is burrowing into my body. I know when I am holding on to stuff when I start getting neck pains, back aches, an acidity tummy. I take deep breaths.  When I feel a little better but know it is still there, I will hit pillows, do the silent scream. This helps with the anger part.

Painting, "Cat Buddah", watercolor and ink, 2008 (C)

When I feel the emotional charge start to wane. I do an excercise I learned in my Science of Mind Foundations class. I write a forgiveness letter using a 5 step form. It helps me to see the persons part in it, how it made me feel, what my part in it, What I would have liked, by the time I get to the last part, I can actually see the big picture and let it go. It is extremely empowering and I get my spark back and let the feeling of powerlessness go.

Then I can do an affirmative prayer to feel what I want to feel and experience. I can choose to hold on to the debilitating role of anger, resentment, powerlessness, (you fill in the blank), or let it go and place the experience or person in a different light. As the author writes :”

“The choice you make, between hating and forgiving, can become the story of your life.”